There are many men who don’t know how to start a conversation with a girl they like, or how, once they start talking, to keep the flow of the conversation going without making her shut down, change the mood, and leave.

The reason conversations sometimes end badly is that many men bring up the wrong topics, or they keep rambling about themselves in an attempt to impress her—showing off a bit about their job, their family, or even some general knowledge they have.

That’s why the most important thing you need to know to make this meeting successful is: “Don’t talk too much… just ask.” Make most of your conversation with her questions about herself and her personality—what she likes, what she dislikes, and so on.

Girls always like to feel that the person in front of them wants to discover them, wants to understand them, and is interested in knowing them and the smallest details of their lives. Besides, girls value talking highly, so the more you give her the chance to talk, the better your chances with her.

But it’s also important to know the type and nature of the questions you can ask, especially at the beginning. Just as there are good things to ask her, there are also things that, if you ask about them, you’ll ruin everything.

1- Tell me about yourself

A good way to open the conversation is to try to get to know her personally and discover her personality.
For example, if she doesn’t work with you, ask her about her job—does she enjoy it or not? What did she dream of becoming when she was young? What does she want to achieve in the future? What is the biggest goal in her life? And so on.

2- Find out what she likes

One of the questions that can get you both out of any tension is this one in all its aspects: What’s her favorite color? Her favorite food? Her favorite movie? The place she loves going to most? Does she like reading or not? Does she prefer going out or staying home? What does she like to do when she’s happy? And so on.

3- Now start giving your opinion

Of course, it’s not good to sit silently the whole time—that’s not what we mean. But when you join the conversation, it should be with technique and style so you don’t appear as someone who talks too much or someone who’s silent and uninterested.
This step comes after the previous question—how?

For example, after you learn that she likes reading and find out which author she reads, you can join in and share your opinion about that author (if you know them, of course), or talk about another author you like and start a two-sided discussion. But don’t flatter her dishonestly or lie and say you like something just because she does, especially if you actually dislike it. If things progress, she’ll eventually realize you were lying, and you won’t look good.

4- Talk about one of your experiences

As soon as you find something in common between you, hold onto it—it will open up endless conversation. For example, if you work in the same field, talk about real situations you’ve experienced at work—situations that would impress her, or a problem you solved, or even a genuinely funny and pleasant story (but really pleasant!). Then you’ll find her enjoying listening to you and responding positively.

5- Simple but important questions

There are simple questions that girls like to be asked—of course, politely. For example: Who is the closest person to you? What’s your relationship with your siblings like? Are you closer to your mom or your dad? What’s the craziest thing you’ve done? What scares you the most? What personality traits do you love most in people? What were difficult moments in your life? Something you regret?

These types of questions are important for you because you need to pay attention to every answer she gives. From them, you’ll learn a lot—not just from what she says directly, but from what’s between the lines, the things she implies but doesn’t explicitly state. So stay alert.

6- Tell me a secret nobody knows

Don’t take this step unless you’re sure things are going well and you feel she likes you and the conversation is flowing smoothly. Only then can you play this little game and ask her about a small secret nobody knows—either from now or from her childhood. It’s an unconventional question she won’t expect, and she’ll enjoy it because she’ll feel you’re different—not just someone repeating memorized lines. After this question, you’ll feel like you’ve grown a bit closer in a pleasant way.

7- Topics you should never bring up

As for taboos, there are certain topics you shouldn’t bring up with any girl, at least in the beginning. Such as:

• The past:
  Asking if she’s dated before, how many times she’s been in a relationship, what her relationships with the opposite sex were like, and similar questions. It’s not acceptable to her for you to ask these at the beginning (and sometimes even later). It’s the past and it’s over—just like you, as a man, probably have your own past stories. You may feel it’s your right to know certain things to feel secure about yourself and your name with the girl you choose, but there are better ways than making her feel like she’s being interrogated by a prosecutor.

• Her appearance, weight, or style:
  You probably already know this, but it’s worth emphasizing. Don’t criticize anything about her looks or clothing style, and don’t recklessly ask her how much she weighs. You can talk about these things only in the form of compliments.

• My car… my watch… my house…:
  Or anything you want to show off. It’s obvious. It shows you’re trying to impress her for no reason and act like she’s sitting with Tom Cruise. This has the opposite effect—it makes you seem empty inside and lacking confidence.

• Your female friends:
  Especially your best female friend or ex-girlfriend. Don’t play the role of “all girls love me” or act like you’re an expert with women.